Working Out With My Gram Grams

I’d like to talk to someone about getting a punch card, please. “Ok. I can help you with that. What questions do you have?” …I would like to know if I can get a punch card, please? “Oh. Yeah. Sure. People just usually have questions about how the punch card works.” I mean…I come to … Continue reading Working Out With My Gram Grams

That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles

“Oh, you’ve got this nice gymnasium floor.” And I do. It is cool. But dude works here. And I was probably the fifth gymnasium apartment he’d visited. The floor was not a new experience for him. The problem was. I forgot that maintenance was coming through to check the sprinklers. And I’m currently unemployed. So … Continue reading That Time I Accidentally Ran 22 Miles

How My Gyms Are Failing Me

“Ok! Here’s the workout! Sunshine! Put your phone down!” It’s work. I need to respond to this. “Put it down. Now.” Just. I just have to answer this question for them real quick. “Do any of your other five gyms let you use your phone during workouts?” I mean, I sit the phone right beside … Continue reading How My Gyms Are Failing Me

Its Called Supplementing

I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to complain. Or whine. About being sore. I was also accused of cheating. Which is absurd. Because I do not have the energy or motivation required to cheat. I’m not known for managing even one man’s drama. I sure as fuck ain’t tryin to manage two. Or more. … Continue reading Its Called Supplementing

They Say It’s Good Luck

Apparently if I don’t write about things. People don’t believe they actually happened. So, I got shit on by a bird. Tuesday. At yoga. I was there at rooftop yoga. Which is generally cool. Because you can see the mountains surrounding the bowl that is Roanoke. From up on top of Center in the Square. … Continue reading They Say It’s Good Luck

Sometimes I Wear Pants

“Good morning, Sunshine! You look nice today!” …Thanks…I mean I’m just…wearing pants? I guess that’s…kind of fancy? But thanks… “No, you just usually…I don’t ever see you wearing…pants…” …Ok. That’s fair. I just…pants are usually so hard to wear. With their unreasonable buttons and shit. But I’ve recently managed enough gym time. And running time. … Continue reading Sometimes I Wear Pants

Leadville Heavy Half

Y'all heard of this? Leadville Heavy Half? Not quite the Leadville 100. But not just a standard half marathon either. 15.5 miles. At 10,500 feet. And climbing on up above 13,000 feet. In Leadville, Colorado. As I've already mentioned. There is no oxygen in Colorado. These people just surviving on weed and views. We at … Continue reading Leadville Heavy Half

Airport Adventures

So, traveling isn’t my strength. I’ve learned that this week. It’s why I need people like Travel Goddess in my life. After getting to Roanoke airport before it even opened. Wednesday morning. Finding my way inside. And boarding my 5am flight. I was kicked off. Not for showing my ass. Or anything like that. Relax, … Continue reading Airport Adventures