I think possibly Brene’ Brown in her audiobook, The Power of Vulnerability. (I listen to it monthly and continue to realize how much I have to learn from it.) Or it may have been the former CEO of one of the companies I work for, a powerful source of social change and motivation who continues to push me to write more. Publish more.
Whoever it was, I happened to order it at some point I don’t remember (happens quite a lot, actually). But it showed up on my table recently, so I began reading it last week.
It spoke to me immediately.
I’ve spent much of my life never feeling comfortable with the person I am. Content with myself.
I’ve never really felt truly loveable.
I’m so rarely truly excited about being me.
It’s not something I can really explain, having grown up with the most loving and supportive parents imaginable.
But the world can be a painful place despite the protections we put in place for our children.
It can break certain parts of us, and we will carry that brokenness with us until we somehow find a way to fix it. Or maybe just accept it. And find a way to love ourselves in spite of it.
I knew right away that this was a book I would need to read several times to really be able to absorb what the author was saying. Meditate on it. (Because she actually includes meditations at the end of each chapter for people like me, that lack the creativity and focus to meditate on things ourselves.)
I haven’t finished it yet.
I don’t get a lot of time to really sit and read.
I certainly don’t have time to do so while I’m at work.
And yet, when I packed up my planner and laptop to head into work this morning, I put this book in with them.
As I was doing it, I didn’t really know why. I never take books to work with me.
I remember thinking, “I don’t even know why I’m taking this with me. I won’t have time to read it.”
But I took it with me anyway.
And as I sat with a young woman as she broke down about her relationship, her life, her fear of being alone, I realized immediately why I’d brought the book with me.
While I feel safe alone, away from the risk of the world confirming my greatest fear – that I am unloveable, she fears being alone because she seeks the confirmation of her loveableness from others.
And then I think about the other girls and young women I work with in my jobs. All of their insecurities and brokenness manifesting in defiance or anger or promiscuity or depression or anxiety. Or in some cases, every damn one of those.
And I am that much more invested in programs like Girls on the Run.
So, if you have any interest in helping our girls or creating a better future, to get involved. Volunteer. Coach. Donate. Advocate. And get your daughters involved.
Because trust me. No matter how good a parent you are, the world can still do a lot of damage to a young girl. And she may just need that extra help to get back to loving who she really is.
And if you’re interested in sharing my Brene’ Brown addiction, you can order what I believe is her best work by clicking on the pic below:
And you can order a copy of Oriah’s The Dance by clicking on the picture at the start of this post.
Meanwhile, I’ll be over here reading about the End of the World Running Club. Because any book that combines end times scenarios with running gets me. I can work on accepting myself later.