Pride Makes You Do Stupid Things

Pride and relentless friends just don’t mix.

Or maybe they mix a little too well.

Or maybe I just wanted to make extra special sure that Regina was fully back in her place for a while.

But Running Partner offered to go with me, so I went back out on that damn mountain again today.

The one that I whined extensively about yesterday. And every other time I’ve done it.

But apparently y’all think I whine about any damn thing, so y’all don’t take me seriously when I tell you how bad this mountain is.

It has zero redeeming qualities.

Not a single view to make the effort worthwhile.

Halfway up Deer, Running Partner insisted that this was a pretty view.

I mean, sure. It’s nice. But is it really one of those views where you say, “this was totally worth climbing this bullshit mountain”?

I’ll go ahead and answer that for you.

No. It is not.

I think he just needed something to believe in at that point. Because Deer will suck the life out of you if you let it.

As we were driving up 311 to get to the trailhead, we saw Endong driving down.

I said some bad words.

I may have thrown a small fit in the car.

Check his damn Strava! Check it!! He better NOT have just come from there! We’ll do that bitch twice today!

Running Partner assured me that he’d only done McAfee.

Good.

But then this message:

Sunshine don’t think I won’t turn this thing around and follow you right to North Mountain you better watch your step

And so I spent the entire freakin run expecting to hear his damn “WOO!” on the trail behind us.

We didn’t.

What I did hear was Running Partner sounding all incredulous about the climb up to Grouse. Like I didn’t spend many, many paragraphs yesterday explaining how horrible this mountain is.

Then we hit Grouse and he was able to experience the rock gardens of terror on the side of the mountain.

That’s a good time.

Kudos to the badasses mountain biking it up Grouse as we were coming down. Because I damn sure would’ve hiked those bitches up that trail. Damn that. Better yet, I’d have pedaled my happy self right on down the fire road until I found my way back to civilization.

And thank you to mountain biker dude that offered us prayers as we headed up Deer. It was appreciated. And possibly the only way I made it up without just giving up on life.

Running Partner spent a good 10 minutes at the bottom of Deer just staring at the map.

He may have been questioning his dating choices. Which, sure.

Because we actually had to stop because his Apple Watch shut down and his Strava along with it and we all know that if it didn’t Strava, it didn’t happen.

And possibly I said that I wouldn’t add him to my Strava run.

Look, I’m working my way ahead in this damn challenge and pride is a very real thing and it’s every man for his damn self right now.

But I love you…

Once he got his Strava back on track, we headed up the hell trail.

Slowly.

Because that’s the only way I know to go up that damn trail.

And here comes Drinkwater just happily running his way past us. Up Deer Trail. Smiling. And running.

What in the actual…

And he runs with those adorable puppies, so you can’t say anything mean to him or trip him as he runs past you or anything, and one of the pups seemed very concerned about me and kind of stayed right in front of me for a minute saying, “um I know this trail is pretty easy, but this chick doesn’t look too good. Should we call someone?” But when Drinkwater kept running happily along, pup kinda shrugged and wished me luck and continued running. Up Deer Trail. Smiling. And running.This was his 16th loop in the challenge, I believe.

The challenge ends when someone hits 50.

The rest of us humans are back in the 4’s and 5’s.

Imma need Drinkwater to go ahead and hit 50. Before Endong breaks me.

Introduced Running Partner to the Deer Trail switchback bitches and he didn’t really have anything nice to say to them. Odd.

Made it to the top and started making our way back down the North Mountain Trail. The exceptionally rocky North Mountain Trail. Which we ran. Again, risking ankles and knees and quads and Achilleses because food.

We were reaching critical food need levels.

My stomach had started growling way back at the bottom of Deer Trail. Like, 3 miles ago.

Had a brief moment of panic when I heard a “WOO!” down the trail ahead of us.

I swear, if that is freakin Endong, imma push his ass right off the side of this mountain.

It wasn’t.

He’s safe.

I mean, I didn’t push him off the side of the mountain, at least.

But he’s probably found some other stupid shit to get into, so I can’t really guarantee that he’s safe.

He’s Endong.

In the end, Running Partner decidedly revoked his offer to run it with me again tomorrow.

But he did rush me to food pretty quickly. I just love you so much, Mama Maria’s.

If you need us, Running Partner and I will be taking turns with the ice and heating pad.

Because freakin pride, man.

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