So, we’ve established that I’m not a good liar, right?
I’m not good at playing things off.
It’s my face. That bitch gives me away every damn time.
And then my brain gets involved and I start stumbling around shit.
Neither of them can be trusted.
So why, then, was I the person placed in charge of organizing Lil T’s birthday party?
I had to pretend for an entire month. That we were having a girls night.
And then I had to remember who was invited to the girls night.
And y’all know. You know I can’t remember a damn thing.
I mean, I had to stop myself 15 times from yelling at SCT for choosing a Christmas event over Lil T at Thursday night’s Chaos Run. Because he wasn’t invited to girls night. Or maybe he was. I clearly don’t remember.
So obviously Lil T was suspicious. At the very least.
I mean, I told her I’d pick her up and she could ride with me.
Y’all, she doesn’t even live near me.
But she is who she is. The sweetest human alive. (Unless you forget to feed her. Don’t ever forget to feed her.) So she went along with it. And didn’t ask questions.
Thank god she didn’t ask questions.
Because there is no way I could’ve fielded those appropriately.
And GJB kept changing time tables on me.
And so it’s not my fault that Everyone’s Favorite Husband showed up before me to get him. And take him to the surprise party.
But again, in a showing of graciousness, our girl didn’t question it.
And because I spent 82% of my workday yesterday crying, Lil T spent the ride to her surprise party listening to me vent. (We’ll discuss that later. I’m still processing those emotions.)
Which was a good way to keep me from saying something stupid about the party we were going to. That she didn’t know about.
Then she got a phone call from someone else needing to vent.
And thank god she did. Because these mother fuckers started sending nonstop messages asking where we were and when we’d get there.
Y’all. She’s in the fucking car right beside me!!!
And when we rolled up to Big Lick, and saw some familiar faces near the front door that were not on the “Going” list on the even page, it was all my brain could do to stop my mouth from saying, “Huh. I didn’t know they were coming…”
I just said, “Hey. Look who’s also here…”
This woman is so loved.
Because we were at least 30 people deep in that brewery.
Because there are few people as truly good as her.
I mean, we show up for shit. Sure.
But there weren’t even this many of us that showed up for Iron Mountain…
And we’re gonna pretend that this was the only group pic taken. And that they didn’t take one before this. Without me. While I was distracted. Outside. And that I didn’t throw a fit and make them gather 30 fucking people up again. For a real picture. Because dammit.
But they did. Because my people are the best people.
Especially that little one kissing on me there in the front.
Also. What the fuck is this, GJB?