Awkward Neighborhood Runs

They’re both gorgeous!

This observation shouldn’t have garnered an odd look. And a hesitant “yes they are…”

But I’m losing my social cues.

Because 2020.

So when I said, “They’re both gorgeous.” I nodded back down the road. At his wife. And the dog she was walking.

Instead of also at the dog he was walking…

And, I mean, she was gorgeous. His wife.

But I meant the dogs. Both of the dogs. Both of the dogs that he and his wife were walking. Separately.

Except also I’m assuming that was his wife. Or that they even know each other.

And maybe that was his confusion.

Like, why is this random chick telling me she wants that other chick up there. That I’ve been following for the last mile. Is she calling me out? Like we’re gonna fight over this other chick?

And so. Instead of letting it go. And just continuing on my run.

I explained myself.

Because that’s what I do.

I mean the dogs. Both of the dogs. Are gorgeous. I mean, she is, too. Is that your wife? She’s really pretty. I’m not saying she’s not gorgeous. She is. I was just. I meant the dogs…

And here is where I hear Rogue’s voice in my head. And see Fall Risk signing behind her. “Just stop talking, Sunshine.”

And so I stopped talking.

And just kind of waived.

And took off running again.

This is why I run in the woods. Alone. Or with my people.

Out here on these streets. There are too many people for me to interact with.

And me interacting with people. Who don’t know and love and accept my awkward. Is bound to lead to issues.

And for a stone cold introvert, sometimes I have to physically fight myself not to speak to a stranger.

It’s a compulsion. And I don’t understand it.

Because social interactions overwhelm me.

And I’m already overwhelmed by work. And society. And 2020.

Why am I compelled to add to it?

Because it inevitably leads to this.

Me feeling like I need to end the interaction with “I’m an intelligent person.”

And now I feel like I can’t even run in my neighborhood anymore. Because I can’t risk seeing that dude again. Or his gorgeous wife. Because he probably told her. About the weird chick that’s into her. And her dog.

But also. I have to. I have to run every damn day.

Because our work step challenge is starting again.

And I’m the Wellness Champion.

And Tommy and The Mayor have assembled a team. Designed to win. Requiring all five team members to sign a blood oath that they will get a minimum of 15,000 steps a day.

And my team captain has assembled a team where one member acted like I’d just asked him to give me all his lunch money when I said 10,000 steps to him.

So it’s up to me. And our team captain. To beat Tommy’s team. Ourselves.

Because Wellness Champion does not lose.

Which means I have to run every single day.

And I need peace in my neighborhood in order to do that.

So next time I see dude and his gorgeous wife out. I’m gonna have to explain who I am as a person to them. So they understand. That I’m not a weirdo.

I’m just awkward.

And I wasn’t hitting on any of them.

I’m an intelligent person…

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