Shoulder Flopping

Injured myself. Again. Last night.

I was sitting on my couch. Holding a book. And…

I don’t know.

I guess I was…existing?…a little too hard.

So obviously my right shoulder just suddenly started screaming about a shooting pain.

I assume because she knows we still don’t have time to run. So, we’re gonna do some more strength workouts this weekend. And she’s tired of holding weights.

She’s not really injured. Nothing happened to cause an injury.

No one touched her.

That bitch just flopping.

Kinda like a soccer player when an opposing team member walks past him. And they just go flailing backwards?

We all know that shit ain’t real.

And it’s always the dudes. Because females don’t do that shit. There’s research.

So, I’ve told my shoulder to stop acting like a dude. We’re gonna go ahead and do another strength workout this morning.

Because we again do not have time to run.

Because we are gonna spend our day taking some kids on a hike in the woods.

…I’m gonna lead some kids on a hike…

…I’m gonna lead some kids on a hike through the Mill Mountain trails…

Wait.

I’m gonna lead some kids on a hike through…trails?

And I think the problem here is that my former boss. Who was the one coordinating this activity. Doesn’t realize. That we don’t let Sunshine go on trails by herself. We definitely don’t let Sunshine lead other people on trails by herself. And we absolutely don’t let Sunshine lead children on trails by herself.

So, I’m leading some children on the Mill Mountain trails. By myself.

No no. I’m sure it will be…fine.

And I’m supposed to lead them on some mindful meditation practices while I do it.

Which is gonna be hard.

Since I’m gonna be focused on placing markers on every single tree. So we can find our way back.

My shoulder is over here suggesting we spend the morning studying the Mill Mountain trail maps. Instead of strength training.

And she’s probably right.

But we don’t reward flopping.

So that bitch gonna have to hold all the weights.

But hey. Anybody got any course tape?

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