“You’re not dying.”
It feels like I’m dying. This is definitely what death feels like.
“I doubt that death feels like that.”
I finally understand what men have been experiencing for thousands of years.
I called in sick to work.
It was supposed to be a mental health day.
Because even though we’ve only been in school for three weeks. We’ve been in school for five months. And I’m exhausted.
Trust me. That’s how school math works in a pandemic.
So I needed a day. To let my brain rest. After spending the first three days this week interacting with hundreds of students and families as we sent them home to quarantine.
Did one of those at home Covid tests. Just to be safe.
Because I’ve been playing the “stress or Covid symptom” game all week.
I’m still waiting for that result.
And I don’t want to have Covid.
Like, I probably just have a common cold. That’s probably all that this headache, snottiness, nausea, and complete lack of anything resembling energy mean.
If that’s all it is…
I’m being…a total man about it.
And I feel compelled to tell people that I pushed two giant babies out of my body. Without drugs. As I’m begging them to bring me some soup. And Tylenol. And more tissues.
This is not ok.
This is what 2021 school year has done to me.
In the eight long months that we’ve been in school.
It has turned me into a Dude.
And each minute that passes. As I wait for this Covid test result. My body creates more symptoms.
My chest hurts now.
Like bronchitis hurts.
I hear that’s an illness that can just pop up overnight.
I’m not sure I can handle nine more months of school. After the eighteen months we just did.
It’s fine, though.
It’s only perfect mountain running weather outside. For the first time in three years. And I have nothing in me to go enjoy it.