Utah National Park Tour: Canyonlands

“My co-worker told me that when she came out here, they only ate like one meal a day.”

Well, that’s the dumbest shit I ever heard.

So the issue. When you send two introverts out into the wild. On their own. Is that once they’ve done whatever thing they were assigned to do. They immediately revert back into hibernation.

We woke up this morning. To the smell of omelettes cooking. Next door.

Because it’s two dudes staying over there.

And of course the two dudes brought their own griddle. And eggs. And vegetables.

We can’t even find a fucking apple in this state.

But two dudes have an entire fucking grocery store next door.

But it was fine. I ate one of my dollar store cookies.

Not sure what Fall Risk ate.

And we headed out to Canyonlands.

With Mark again guiding us.

I feel pretty confident that Fall Risk was fighting off a panic attack. Driving through a few points on this tour. But I was trying to focus on Mark’s rock lecture. Because he kept saying there would be a test. So I couldn’t help her.

Got lectured by some elderlies. When I offered to take their picture. Because I hadn’t heard anyone tell me I’m wonderful yet that morning.

And they felt I was too close to the edge. While trying to find the perfect shot for them.

I think one of them even threatened to call my mother.

But then I told them how I had two grown children and a grandchild on the way. So don’t even try to out-elder me.

Saw them a few overlooks later. And Roy says, “if you go around that edge, there’s no one over there. It gets a little narrow, but your dumb ass won’t be scared.”

He didn’t actually say dumb ass. But he said it with his eyes.

And after yesterday’s near death experience. I’ve been taking my pack with me. Every time we get out of the car. Even for just a short 1/2 mile walk.

Until we got to the last stop.

Because for whatever reason. My dumbass left my pack in the car. While we sojourned through a two mile sand storm hike.

The sand just sloughing off our outer layers of skin. And taking over our esophogi.

I really would’ve loved to have had a long sleeved shirt. And some water. And snacks.

We did get through one of the overlooks. Right before park rangers shut it down. Because someone was in anaphylactic shock. Or whatever. And as they were questioning her people. About what she’d picked on trail to eat. That she shouldn’t have.

I really kind of understood how it could happen.

I have to actively stop myself. Every damn day. From putting things in my mouth that I shouldn’t.

But we did get to see all of this.

So yeah. Worth it.

Then we ventured back to semi-civilization for some food.

And. Ok. So the food was delicious.

It’s just.

Like, I ordered a salad.

A really good salad.

But then we got back to the cabin.

And showered.

And checked in with our handler remotely. Who tried to get us to go start a fire. Even though the fire pit was surrounded by people.

We don’t do people.

We considered opening FaceTime on one of our phones. And just kind of throwing it into the crowd. So Rogue could talk them into making a fire.

But then we’d have to go back for the phone. When she was done therapizing all of them. Ten hours later.

So we opted for just kind of lounging. And relaxing. And reading. And sitting in total silence for a solid four hours.

And around 7pm, both of us had the thought that…we hadn’t gone back out for dinner…

But neither of us actually verbalized it.

So we just went to bed.

And…I mean…I wasn’t hungry. I was totally physically ok without dinner.

It’s just that…

If I had known we were really only gonna have one meal today…I would’ve chosen something better than…salad…

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