So, homeownership. I'm calling her Lagertha. My home. That's her name. Lagertha. It's been an adjustment. This new relationship. Me and Lagertha. Lagertha has rules. Which she has posted. And it's not like...I mean, they're not unreasonable rules. But it's just the principle. You know? I pay the mortgage. I make the rules. So I … Continue reading I’ve Named Her Lagertha
A New Home
Slept for ten hours last night. I did wake up around midnight. Mostly because my body is used to waking up around midnight. Because that’s when people break up. But last night. I slept in my new house. Whoa. It’s a little anxiety-inducing to say that. Because it’s all now my responsibility. But not as … Continue reading A New Home
Socially Awkward Competition
So, I've got a new co-worker. IT Guy. Fairly new. He started a few months ago. I think. Hell, time holds no place in my world right now. He could have started two years ago for all my brain can process right now. The point is, I don't know him super well. But I do … Continue reading Socially Awkward Competition
We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Almost died. Getting my hair done today. It snowed. Here in SW Virginia. We weren’t ready. Apparently. I spent the brunt of the snow at my old house. Now my kids’ house. While they were off producing an entire human. Arguably the cutest human ever produced. Maybe even cuter than me. Possibly. So I got … Continue reading We Weren’t Ready (for snow)
Well Rested With Issues
Honestly, y'all. As much as I'm a mess. I am the most basic human to maintain. I'm not easy to deal with. But I'm simple to maintain. I swear. Handsome Son dropped sausage poofs off at work. For my breakfast. Last week. Before I got there. My bosses. Who were the only ones there at … Continue reading Well Rested With Issues
Just Another Day
Damn. Y’all wasn’t playin. About just walking into 2022 quietly. Sitting down. And not touching nothin. Usually I wake up to a flood of happy new year messages and texts and snaps and voicemails. And yes. I wake up to them. Y’all know I’m not staying up till midnight willingly. For any reason. Except to … Continue reading Just Another Day
Ick Diagnosis
The worst part of living beneath what I assume is a drug dealer. Is that he is home just always. Just always home. This mother fucker never leaves the damn apartment. Just keeps his obnoxious ass up there. Just always. Annoying the fuck out of me. Awake until unseemly hours in the morning. Just living … Continue reading Ick Diagnosis
Winter Break Rule
Rule number one of Winter Break: don’t get sick until school starts back. I don’t know how I broke rule number one. Or why. But I am sick. Like, deathly sick. Some of y’all flippantly calling it a “head cold.” But nah. This is… There is this massive pressure behind my eyes. Threatening to just … Continue reading Winter Break Rule
Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
I’ve been told you’re not a real mountain biker. Until you wreck. And despite my desperate need to be included. My every instinct. When mountain biking. Or lifing. Is to not wreck. So, I spent Sunday running Hay Rock. I didn’t want to. I didn’t not want to. I’ve spent all of break with this … Continue reading Still Not a Real Mountain Biker
Cups and Christmas
“Are you getting here super early?” Obviously I'm getting there super early. That's who I am as a person. "I need you to pick up cups." For liquor??? "For the workout." That sounds less fun than liquor. But fine. And so that's why I walked into the gym. At exactly 4:00pm. With a sleeve of … Continue reading Cups and Christmas
Shine My Way 