I Hate Water. I Love Water Sports.

So the mushrooms were definitely not chanterelles. As evidenced by the time I spent cuddling my toilet this afternoon. See, what had happened was, last year. At Iron Mountain. Or maybe it was Pilot Mountain to Hanging Rock. Or maybe both. LeBBQ stopped in the middle of an ultra. Picked a bunch of wild mushrooms. … Continue reading I Hate Water. I Love Water Sports.

Cove Mountain Struggle

“Que haces hoy? Trabajando?” That’s what the Mexican restaurant dude asked me. As he handed me my food. After glancing down at my feet. Nope. Como se dice I’m just gross. “Ok. You go have a nice day.” I should note that this was the same restaurant where, a few years ago, I confused and … Continue reading Cove Mountain Struggle

Major Life Choice Waivers

So, I’m not alone, right? Things have just gone to shit for everyone, right? I missed my own birthday party this weekend. I mean, I didn’t know it was my birthday party. When I missed it. But it was. And I did. I had reasons. Fully legit reasons. But mostly, everything has just spiraled out … Continue reading Major Life Choice Waivers

More Evidence I’m Losing My Mind

Do you know the name of the Pennsylvania town where the American version of “The Office” is set? If you’ve ever watched even one episode, you probably do. I’ve watched all of them. Hundreds of times. Which is what I said to John Krasinski in my dream. Repeatedly. For a solid hour. As I was … Continue reading More Evidence I’m Losing My Mind

40 Acre Beast Route

“Are you in Rocky Mount?” Yeah. “Come pick me up.” Ok. Lemme see if I can find your house from here. -stop and reroute GPS- “I’m not at home. I’m at Sheetz.” -stop again and reroute GPS again- Ok. “The one in town. Not 220.” Fuck’s sake. Ok. -stop. again. and reroute GPS. again- Now. … Continue reading 40 Acre Beast Route

This Is Not My Birth Month Run

“Are your pants wet?” Yes, TB. Yes they are wet. That’s sweat. That’s what normal humans do when they’re forced to run in a sauna. Because I don’t know if y’all have been outside today. But the humidity level is hovering somewhere close to 100%. That’s basically swimming. There is no oxygen in 100% humid … Continue reading This Is Not My Birth Month Run