Tinker Cliffs Sunset

“So when you fell and ‘broke’ your tibia. Did your friends try to help you?” Well, first of all, let’s not use finger quotes for the word broke. Also, no. Obviously they didn’t try to help. They just stood there watching. Waiting for me to get back up. So we could get on down the … Continue reading Tinker Cliffs Sunset

A Much Needed Return To Christmas Mountain

“When I was younger, my friends and I used to do an Invincible Week.” Well, that sounds like something I need to do. “We stopped after our last event when they had to send search and rescue for us.” Yes. This speaks to me. In all fairness, it’s speaking to me a little less this … Continue reading A Much Needed Return To Christmas Mountain

Metaphorical Laundry

“Where are all of these flies coming from?” Could be me attracting them. I don’t remember the last time I washed my hair. I don’t fully groom myself for work. I save that for the weekends when I’m gonna see people I actually like. *blank stare* “Ok…Why don’t you go ahead and close the door … Continue reading Metaphorical Laundry

More Airport Adventures

24 hours. That’s how long I’ve been wearing a bra. And pants. Twenty four solid nonstop continuous hours of bra. And pants wearing. I did the math. Including time change calculations and shit. That’s how upsetting this situation is. I did time change math. At 3:30am. Yesterday. Utah time. I got an alert on my … Continue reading More Airport Adventures

Utah National Park Tour: Zion

Final day of our five day five park tour. And it’s raining. Like constant rain. Just all damn day. Raining. And I don’t know about y’all. But driving into a canyon during an all day rainstorm feels…sketchy. Like, perhaps we shouldn’t be provoking the universe like that? But we’re nothing if not the sort of … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Zion

Utah National Park Tour: Bryce Canyon

Air bnb dude: “Have you ever seen the Milky Way?” My dumbass responding excitedly: Yes! Air bnb dude: *looking at me skeptically* Fall Risk: *staring at me confused* My dumbass justifying my response: At my old house. I could see all kinds of shit. And then I threw in something about light pollution to make … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Bryce Canyon

Utah National Park Tour: Capitol Reef

Day three of no breakfast. Or dinner. I clearly owe Fall Risk’s co-worker an apology. We headed out this morning. Fueled with the knowledge that we were heading towards Giffords House Pies. Under the belief that. If we didn’t get there before 11:30am. We’d miss out on the pies. That would sell out by then. … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Capitol Reef

Utah National Park Tour: Canyonlands

“My co-worker told me that when she came out here, they only ate like one meal a day.” Well, that’s the dumbest shit I ever heard. … So the issue. When you send two introverts out into the wild. On their own. Is that once they’ve done whatever thing they were assigned to do. They … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Canyonlands

Utah National Park Tour: Arches

I just googled how to open a bottle without a bottle opener. The search returned 13 options. The one option it didn’t return. Which was the only option that actually worked. Was wandering around camp asking people for a bottle opener. This particular anecdote is representative. Highly representative. Of how our trip is going so … Continue reading Utah National Park Tour: Arches