So the mushrooms were definitely not chanterelles. As evidenced by the time I spent cuddling my toilet this afternoon. See, what had happened was, last year. At Iron Mountain. Or maybe it was Pilot Mountain to Hanging Rock. Or maybe both. LeBBQ stopped in the middle of an ultra. Picked a bunch of wild mushrooms. … Continue reading I Hate Water. I Love Water Sports.
“Que haces hoy? Trabajando?” That’s what the Mexican restaurant dude asked me. As he handed me my food. After glancing down at my feet. Nope. Como se dice I’m just gross. “Ok. You go have a nice day.” I should note that this was the same restaurant where, a few years ago, I confused and … Continue reading Cove Mountain Struggle
So here’s what happens when I. An unabashed attention seeking Leo. Requests to skip her birthday. It confuses people. Like, they don’t know what to do with their hands. Because last year. I made sure folks knew. They had a one week lead in to my birthday. To prepare. To do this. (Damn, I miss … Continue reading Birthday Boycott
So, I’m not alone, right? Things have just gone to shit for everyone, right? I missed my own birthday party this weekend. I mean, I didn’t know it was my birthday party. When I missed it. But it was. And I did. I had reasons. Fully legit reasons. But mostly, everything has just spiraled out … Continue reading Major Life Choice Waivers
I was six years old when my mother taught me to suck in my stomach. Well, she didn’t so much teach me as just tell me. And I can’t be real certain about the age at which this happened. Or the way in which she said it. Or even if it ever actually happened at … Continue reading Pandemic or Menopause?
Do you know the name of the Pennsylvania town where the American version of “The Office” is set? If you’ve ever watched even one episode, you probably do. I’ve watched all of them. Hundreds of times. Which is what I said to John Krasinski in my dream. Repeatedly. For a solid hour. As I was … Continue reading More Evidence I’m Losing My Mind
“Are you in Rocky Mount?” Yeah. “Come pick me up.” Ok. Lemme see if I can find your house from here. -stop and reroute GPS- “I’m not at home. I’m at Sheetz.” -stop again and reroute GPS again- Ok. “The one in town. Not 220.” Fuck’s sake. Ok. -stop. again. and reroute GPS. again- Now. … Continue reading 40 Acre Beast Route
“Are your pants wet?” Yes, TB. Yes they are wet. That’s sweat. That’s what normal humans do when they’re forced to run in a sauna. Because I don’t know if y’all have been outside today. But the humidity level is hovering somewhere close to 100%. That’s basically swimming. There is no oxygen in 100% humid … Continue reading This Is Not My Birth Month Run
“WTH!!! A Burr kills Hamilton?!!” I feel like I shouldn’t have to spoiler alert that. Or emotionally prepare anyone for it. He says right at the start of the show that he does it. Plus, history... When I was in high school, a friend and I went to see “The Doors” movie. And as a … Continue reading Lost Words
I finally visited the End Racism Now mural in downtown Roanoke. (If you click on the photo, it will take you to a webpage where you can purchase a t-shirt with the mural on it.) It’s beautiful. And it inspired me. This post has been sitting on my mind for years. It has taken me … Continue reading This Is Why