I’d like to talk to someone about getting a punch card, please. “Ok. I can help you with that. What questions do you have?” …I would like to know if I can get a punch card, please? “Oh. Yeah. Sure. People just usually have questions about how the punch card works.” I mean…I come to … Continue reading Working Out With My Gram Grams
strength training
How My Gyms Are Failing Me
“Ok! Here’s the workout! Sunshine! Put your phone down!” It’s work. I need to respond to this. “Put it down. Now.” Just. I just have to answer this question for them real quick. “Do any of your other five gyms let you use your phone during workouts?” I mean, I sit the phone right beside … Continue reading How My Gyms Are Failing Me
Its Called Supplementing
I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to complain. Or whine. About being sore. I was also accused of cheating. Which is absurd. Because I do not have the energy or motivation required to cheat. I’m not known for managing even one man’s drama. I sure as fuck ain’t tryin to manage two. Or more. … Continue reading Its Called Supplementing
Sometimes I Wear Pants
“Good morning, Sunshine! You look nice today!” …Thanks…I mean I’m just…wearing pants? I guess that’s…kind of fancy? But thanks… “No, you just usually…I don’t ever see you wearing…pants…” …Ok. That’s fair. I just…pants are usually so hard to wear. With their unreasonable buttons and shit. But I’ve recently managed enough gym time. And running time. … Continue reading Sometimes I Wear Pants
How Goatfinder Lost Her Friends
Y’all ever heard of a Jefferson squat? Apparently, it’s a move our ancestors did back in the ancient times. When J-Vicious first became certified. I’d post a picture. But I try to keep my blog rating at R. Maybe single X. If I’m talking about my dating life. Which…currently…is at a solid G rating… But … Continue reading How Goatfinder Lost Her Friends
Social Anxiety Coping Skill
Had my therapy appointment yesterday. With my therapist who I will refer to as “they.” Because I haven’t figured out their pronouns yet. And I refuse to ask. Because it’s my therapy. And I only want to talk about me during my therapy. And they haven’t asked my pronouns yet either. So I damn sure … Continue reading Social Anxiety Coping Skill
PFSF Detention
“You playing kickball?” Ummmm no? No...I’m...just getting a beer... “No. I mean. We’re having a kickball coaches meeting here. I thought you were playing. You look very athletic.” Oh. No. I don’t. I’m not. That’s not. No. I don’t…athletic. Ever. I’m only…I’m just here for a beer. And tacos… And. Ok. I appreciate that compliment. … Continue reading PFSF Detention
Leadville Training
“So you’ve just given J-Vicious all day to plan your workout.” *sigh* I know... Monday morning. I was lying in the comfort of Magical Roanoke Yoga’s basement. Allowing her to massage. And yoga my body. Into various states of stretching. And relaxation. I can’t even describe how amazing it is to have someone else stretching … Continue reading Leadville Training
I AM Fall Risk
Did my first shift of Ironman volunteering yesterday. Where I tried to walk casually. Like I hadn’t spent the day before torturing my legs. Seemed to work. No one asked me what was wrong with me. No one actually spoke to me at all. Seriously. Leo does not like to be ignored. But it was … Continue reading I AM Fall Risk
Revolt on Lunges
“I’m medicated now!” I yelled that. A little too gleefully. And loudly. And maybe even forcefully? At my boss today. When he asked how I was doing. “Fine and you?” would have probably been sufficient. I’ve only been medicated about a week. So I don’t know that it’s much more than the placebo effect at … Continue reading Revolt on Lunges
