Utah National Park Tour: Capitol Reef

Day three of no breakfast.

Or dinner.

I clearly owe Fall Risk’s co-worker an apology.

We headed out this morning. Fueled with the knowledge that we were heading towards Giffords House Pies.

Under the belief that. If we didn’t get there before 11:30am. We’d miss out on the pies. That would sell out by then.

Think The Office Work Bus episode.

And the whole drive there. I was climbing in and out and around the car. Like a sugar-fueled toddler. Trying to capture photos. Because, fuck. Tell me Utah doesn’t have the sexiest mountains you’ve ever seen.

But also. GJB had sent me a photo of this.

And I was a little concerned about our backsides. Or front sides. Or both. Getting wedged in there.

But Mark was definitely not taking us to that.

Instead, he took us to this.

And it was cool and all. But…

I was told there would be red rock slot canyons.

I was also told there would be big horn mountain goats.

And marmots.

I’m not really sure what a marmot is.

But I definitely want to see one.

But I haven’t seen shit. Other than some cows. That Fall Risk and I both got way too excited about.

And as I was whining about all of this. My brain kind of slapped me upside the head.

Because dude.

While all of my educators are back at school just trying to maintain some sanity during the shit show of educating during a pandemic that just will not end.

And Rogue is trying to manage the entire weight of our bullshit mental health system that administrators keep trying to make bullshittier.

I’m spending my days experiencing this.

So I’m probably gonna just focus on the gratitude and shit. For the rest of this week.

And since Greer is refusing to feed me more than once a day. I’ve figured out a loophole.

If I order a giant burger and fries.

And only eat half of it.

I can save the rest for dinner. In bed. And pretend that I’m getting two meals a day.

Still not three. But it’s a start.

Fall Risk. On the other hand. Upon seeing this poor starving well-fed stray neighborhood family pet cat.

Tried to coax it to her. With leftover burger. And when it intelligently ran away. To avoid being kidnapped. Homegirl just threw what was left of the burger in the trash.

Forcing the poor starving well-fed stray neighborhood family pet cat to fall headfirst into the trash can. To retrieve the leftover burger.

That cat’s cholesterol has got to be wildly unhealthy.

Also. As we were leaving the park this afternoon. Hours after getting our pies. Just under the wire. At 11:12am.

People were still filing out of that place with more pies.

Which feels…I mean, I guess I’m happy for them. That they didn’t miss out on the delicious pie. But dammit. We were supposed to be special. For getting there by 11:30.

We’re Leos.

But it’s cool. I bought two pies.

And I’m saving one for tomorrow morning.

So I can pretend I’m getting breakfast.

And hopefully Fall Risk doesn’t figure it out. And refuse to take me to lunch. So I can also get fake dinner.

Because apparently one meal a day is just how she rolls now.

And that is entirely unsettling.

Our love for food is one of our closest friendship bonds.

This trip may break us.

But at least I got to see cows…

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